things that make my dookie twinkle

Jul 23 2008 ∞
“ I usually say, “Fuck the truth,” but mostly, the truth fucks you.
— “angels in america”
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“ You can’t beat a ho with a belt! They like that shit!
— pootie tang
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Jul 22 2008 ∞
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best estelle getty remembrance of the day.
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from estelle getty’s obit guest book.
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“american boy,” estelle ft. kanye west

i am in love with this song.

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“ It was a menopausal bachelorette party, and here is my take on bachelorette parties: I think they’re a sad version of ‘dirty fun.’ Women sip too much liquor too quickly from penis straws and bedeck the bride-to-be in a veil pinned with phalluses only to go to, say, a booze cruise or a comedy club. This while the groom in question is, along with his friends, getting blown by strippers.
—

Julie Klausner, in her review of Mamma Mia! (via toomuchawesome)

this is the most accurate description of a bachelorette party i’ve ever read.

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from a craigslist ad for a writer/editor for a green magazine:

The following is a list of key words and phrases describing the position beyond the journalistic: interest in sustainability and the green trend, interest in art and culture, proficiency with MS Office Suite, Adobe CS3, Final Cut, Java, internet code writing, videography, post-production, sales marketing, publishing, print specifications, layout, advertising design, bookkeeping, animation, bicycle making, industrial design, architecture, structural engineering, tech wizard, audiophile, entrepreneur, grant writer, philanthropy, special events, event planning, promotions, media relations, public relations, managment consulting, business manager.

sorry, but someone who can do all that is probably not going to work for the chump change you’re throwing. also, why not throw in”pleasant phone manner” and “alchemy” while you’re at it?

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this is from jaimie’s beach trip album, and i think it exemplifies all that was awesome/terrifying about revolution, myrtle beach’s most high-class late-night dancing establishment. she titled the photo “holy cougar!” i think redneck cougars should be called bobcats.

also, the guy with the light blue shirt and death stare who is mostly obcured by the blond on the far right was like a dance floor golem. it was like he was hewn from clay (or whatever golems are made from) soley for the purpose of walking up to random women, grinding up on them, then looking confused when they pushed him away. as far as i could tell, he wasn’t there with any friends, and i never saw him try to talk to anyone. he also went to the bathroom at least five times in the 30 minutes i was watching him. JUST SAYIN’.

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this is a perfect example: in this photo, sarah is totalled getting ____ed.
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there should be a word for when someone is in a photo, but you can only see part of their head because all their shorter friends made them stand in the back. an example of possible usage:

“man, you sure got _____ed in every group photo from 1997 on.”

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